One bad Apple ruins the whole operating system

I seriously have a tryptophan hangover. My head hurts, my feet stink, and I don't love Jesus. That last parts not true, its a quote from one of the greatest storytellers of all history, James Buffet.

Holidays are good, I'd like to have more of them, but I don't think my brain can handle it.
All the running around, shopping, yard work, cooking, cleaning, gender reassignation surgeries, I don't know how I get it all done.

I barely have time to do the things I have to get done, like drink beer. And eat cake.
I like cake.

I did get a new phone yesterday, my other one sharted and was close to totally crapping its own drawers. It's a newer version if the last one, because guess what? The last one worked great for 2 years ( seems to be the norm, funny, because that's how long my contract was!) Everybody asked me " are you gonna get the iPhone 14p?, or whatever it is, why do these iPhone users want to suck me into their world? Is it more than a culture, but a cult? They really want/need you to share in their misery. Or maybe it's an addiction?  You know, one with a twelve step program that you should follow to get out and become a useful member of society again. All iphones seem to have the same issues, but yet Applers ( I just made that term up) just gotta have one. Weak batteries, expensive apps, cracked screens and all.
In the not to distant future I see a well lit, sanitized room with no windows, plastic chairs, with a table set up in the corner with herbal tea and gluten free donuts, with attendees dressed in slacks and sensible shoes, each with names like SIRI or RAM or Dr Sheldon Cooper, discussing how apple has riuned their life.
They feel a need to pay money for things that don't cost money, like music. They discuss their anxiety when there isn't a power source nearby, and there won't be one for the next 17 hours. Their frustrations because they can't put their hand in their pockets because the tips of their fingers are shredded from uncontrollably swiping them across their broken screens and dreams.

My eyes hurt, my fingers bleed, and I don't need Steve's. Okay I'll work on the slogan.

I'm not much better, mind you, I couldn't wait to get a new phone, but this novelty will wear off in a few days and I will go back to leading a productive life, I hope.

As a matter of fact, I wrote this entire post, on my phone, sitting on my couch, drinking coffee. This new idiot box allows me to post to the blog from mobile, so you will probably see more from me, but in an abbreviated version. So subscribe, follow, leapfrog, or whatever it is you do on the sidebar there to get updates. I'm not convinced the link works, so sign up and comment. It won't hurt, I promise.

Unless you have an iPhone. I don't want you to hurt yourself.

My wife is gonna kill me. So I'm gonna put it down now, and rejoin society.

Pistolgrip out.

Things I should have/should not have learned in High School

Well, here goes!
I have a teenage son, he teaches me a lot, I can honestly say, he schools me on a daily basis.
Whether he realizes it or not, who knows. I dont want to sound like an old fogey, and I am certainly no prude, but things sure have changed alot since I was in High School.
Where do I start?

Communication: we didn't text, we talked. we schemed, we planned, we conspired. We had to be careful that people would "hear" us. god forbid you got caught passing a note. and if it was to a girl? we are talking full on public humiliation here. not to mention your entire life being ruined, for ever..

Clothing: we used to push the envelope with the occasional double entendre t shirt ( any body remember "whereinthehellis" t shirts?) or maybe a pair of doc martens or hiking boots with huge red laces? these days, shorts and a t shirt are the norm. SHORTS! I used to wear a button down "oxford" at least once a week, just because I could. There were certain fashion plates among us, a.k.a the polo shirts and dockers crew, there was even an award in the yearbook for "best dressed". I dont even think they do that anymore. and don't get me started on Sneakers! when did we begin spending hundreds (yes,I said hundreds) of dollars on footwear so we could ride the bus. I dont get it.

Extra curricular activities: Maybe we would go to a sporting event, maybe kiss a girl under the bleachers, maybe go to a dance after the game, (with a band, not a DJ), maybe get into a fight, maybe sneak around and have our parents pick us up in front of the school totally unaware, maybe say we were staying at a friends house, and go to a party. maybe get caught. Most of the time we got caught. How in the world could they catch us? After all, we were much smarter than them!

Music: I couldn't imagine High School with out a soundtrack. We would go to the record store, and find gems hidden in the bins of albums. we didn't download or "steal" music, The only way we knew a new album was coming out by our favorite group was hearing a DJ mention it on the radio, or reading about it in Tiger Beat magazine. By the way, the Tiger was our high schools mascot, and I thought it was our school newsletter. Im not kidding. Man, was I stoopid. We would gather at someones house after school and listen to records, with headphones. The kind with the curly wire, and you had to sit on the floor in front of the stereo. No one ever heard of earbuds, we heard of buds, but not ear ones.

Technology: I had always been somewhat of a geek, I like shiny new things, but I wouldn't call myself an early adopter. I usually wait to see how technology affects my life before I dive in. I wanna be sure, ya know? Teens today have so much more technology, I'm not just thinking about smart phones here. Virtual reality, large screen television, GPS, The freaking Internet! all of it could be used for Good or Evil, I'd like to think its for good, but I know its sometimes evil. It is much harder these days to read a book, or take a walk. You might miss something.

There were a lot of things I learned in High School, How to be cool, how to hang out, how to make fun happen, and I seem to remember something about Math or History.

There were a lot of things I didn't learn also. Like how to pay a mortgage, what to do when someone lies to you, and why you need to stop and appreciate every day that you have.

I am watching my son learn the same things, and believe me, I cant teach him, because he already knows.

He just hasn't learned it yet.


Pistolgrip Out.

The Hitchhiker.

Thoughts in time and out of season,
The Hitchhiker
stood by the side of the road,
and leveled his thumb,
in the calm calculus of reason.

That lyric is from a Doors song, well sort of, it was recorded as spoken word while Jim Morrison was still alive, mixed into another song, Riders On The Storm, and released posthumously. (that means taking a dirt nap) Its about a guy who gets picked up, makes some small talk, and then he murders some one. There's a killer on the road...

One could only wish our voice could be recorded, saved forever, mixed by whomever wants to, and resubmitted for the masses. wait, hold on a sec.... i just checked the interwebs, its been done, they call it itunes. there goes another million dollar idea ruined by the internet. thanks alot internet, learn how to keep a secret, will ya? you're a jerk.

I haven't written in a while because my life at work has been a one man shitshow tennis match against myself. I don't think that's an expression, but is fun to say. try it. I knew you would. use it, go ahead you will get the same dumb looks I get. Its like a club, we can all be members of the Dumb Look Club.

But, on the bright side, my life is getting better, slowly, but surely.

The rest of this post is going to be some random thoughts, notes that I have taken over the last 4 months or so, ideas that I thought could stand on their own, perhaps some day they will grow up, and be full grown posts , but for right now, Ill just spew some thoughts out, okay? okay.

As I am writing this, there is a total lunar eclipse occurring. pretty freaking awesome. The moon is a sliver of its former self, as of an hour ago, and is beginning to turn red. It is commonly called a Blood Moon. Again, pretty freaking awesome.

That goes along with my first one:

The Inner Eye- we all have things we see, how we interpret them is another story. some may see the glass half empty, I choose to see that I am half as thirsty as I was two seconds ago. While some may see a rainy day, I choose to see a good opportunity for a nap.(not a dirt one, by the way)

Four out of five Dennis's recommend it- I dont know who these five guys named Dennis are, but what do they care if I chew gum or not?

Jorneyman, Apprentice, Beggarman, Thief- my friend's kids go to a private school, not some high falutin' secluded monastery in the mountains, just not a public school. Thing is, they don't give letter grades for the students, the give titles. Things like Journeyman, Apprentice, Learner, etc. I wonder if, upon graduation, they give them a title summing up their future prospects? Things like douchebag, high roller, or narcissist? that would take a lot of guesswork out of the interviewer when they are applying for jobs. "well, I see here you got a rating of Ass Pirate upon graduation, tell me more"

why is there no air in space? what about the air in space museum, Its a real place, I saw it on the television once.

Diorama or Diarrhea- one is a miniture display of something inside of something, the other isnt. Or maybe it kinda is.

Interpersonal Schema Cycle- its when someone does or says the same thing to many different people and gets the same result. Like a catchphrase or a battle cry, Even "GERONIMO!" doesnt mean shit if your not jumping out of a plane. I had a friend who used to say "it is what it is" about a hundred times a day, very annoying, since he really didn't know what "is" is, or was, After a while when he said it I began to erase in my mind everything else he said before and after that, seriously, I cant think of one thing he said other than that. If I ever find myself riding an Interpersonal Schema Cycle, I'm gonna trade it in for a Vespa. Then it will be an Interpersonal Schema Scooter. sounds a lot more fun. and awkward, especially at the local biker bar.

A Majordomo is some one who takes care of every detail of a kings or other person of importance's house. kind of like Geoffrey on the fresh prince, or Benson from soap(remember that show?) I think I have just found a new life goal, But I want to do it part time, and have an assistant, and in the Caribbean, and for a considerable amount of money. Not too much to ask right?

I think people who have piercings are okay, but I find it enjoyable to think up quotes of things they may or may not say. One small stud in your nose says "I'm a mother of two, but I want everyone to think I lead a double life, which of course I don't because I'm a mother of two" a large rod in your nose says" I dont like to blow my nose, so dont ask me for a tissue" any skin piercing across a flat space like neckback or side boob " I got a cut there, and duct tape wasn't holding"

I Thank God and Baby Jesus every day since the Zombie Apocalypse is over. I was getting sick of walking around moaning, with my arms straight out, in ripped and dirty clothes from the seventies, in an effort to fool the real zombies into thinking I was one of them. I think they knew though, but they just were trying to use me to get some brains.  Fortunately for me, I don't have enough for them to bother with. It is over? Right?

Hitchikers are random, they turn up here and there, either on the actual side of the road, or on the metaphoric road of life. They need something, you provide it, like a ride or a nice conversation. some times they are not able to do it themselves, and we feel morally obligated to help. To try to get them to their destination. And they almost always kill you.

Pistolgrip Out.

Midway Hawkers

All right, its been a while, I know.

Been pretty busy, new role at work, summer time activities, and what not.

I'm going to try to write this one on the fly, as I go about my day, using my cellular telephone, so if it seems random or incomplete in parts, that's just the he way it is. My brain works that way, why not my blog?

Actually, I don't know if it will work, jump in go for the ride, won't you?

I was looking at my vacation pics yesterday, good times. Went to Toronto with my family with the singular purpose of seeing the best band in the universe, Rush, in their hometown. An awesome trip, an awesome show, and an awesome family. They stood by me while I did everything that I wanted to do, never a complaint or a disagreement as to where to eat, or what to do. I even managed to do a few side trips like a morning hike along the Niagara river, and a visit to a place I was hearing about in song since I was a teenager, the much sought after " Lakeside Park"

 Midway hawkers, saying "try your luck with me"

 We went to a butterfly conservatory, I gotta wash my hair more.

 Ate breakfast inside a fling saucer.

 Really had wished I packed my kayak.

 "Smoking on the pier" I don't smoke, but if I did, this where I would do it.

 What trip to Canada is complete with out a souvenir? I think I'll keep her.

 Here's my dog, partaking of some of my souvenir! She does enjoy a good cocktail now and again.

This is one of the many awesome moments of the concert. So. Freaking. Awesome.

And now a few gratuitous dog pics

This is Char chair

Aerial shot if Zola and Gizmo

Char Dabis and Stella Dabis

(Check em out on Facebook, they each have their own pages)

This is my friend, JP, jumping into the lake, the life jacket I can understand, but not the "karate chop" hands?

This is Patrick. He just got back from selfie school.

Freedom doesn't ring so much anymore, been t it was cool to spend a day in the city of brotherly love

This is Patrick's other child, Harper. Those are my feet, and one of someone else's, I think.

A Philly institution

Went and saw an MLS game,( that's soccer), good times.

Parting shot, me and the Sauce recreating a scene from 10 years ago, last time we were at niagra falls. If you have never been there, check it out, kinda touristy, but awe inspiring.

And it made me want to pee.

A lot.

I gotta go to work now, make some people some food or something.

Sign up for updates, and Put a comment in the box, so I know you were here. Please.

Pretty please.

Pistolgrip out.

Day hikes and Haikus

So one day a few weeks ago I was giving my son a ride to school, and I saw the same windmills in the distance that I have seen for the last five years or so. Thats when I made the decision.I was going to touch one today. a windmill that is.

I had no idea how to get there, nor any idea of the adventure that was to come. Not a huge epic adventure, not life altering, not faith building, and not awe inspiring. at least not to anyone but me.

After I dropped The Sauce at school,  I headed toward my destiny of windmills and nirvana. As I stopped to put some fuel in my vehicle I asked the person at the pump next to me " Hey, How do I get to the windmills?" as the saying goes, ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer. "that way, go up the mountain" was my answer, so I did. I had a little help from modern technology, namely google earth, but I found my way going uphill, rather quickly. and steeply.

I turned down a road that I thought was the way but it turned out to be a dead end. or so I thought. as I turned around in one of the two structures on this road, a person came out to see what was going on, so, in the interest of not pissing anyone off, I exited my vehicle, and told them I was just turning around, they seemed okay with it, then someone else exited the house and said hello, I in turn said hello, and we began a nice conversation. I asked how to get the windmills, yet again, a stupid question, I just dont learn when it comes to these things." up the mountain", they said.

the one person asked why I was going up there,they said they do a lot of walking, and running up there, and that is was very nice. they then asked if I wanted to see the view from their deck.

STOP. I know what your thinking, IS HE NUTS?

well, yes, I kinda am. But these people seemed real nice and I got a good vibe from them, so what the hell? whats the worst that could happen? well the worst that could happen probably involves duct tape, vaseline, and several years of therapy. I'm not opposed to two of those items, ill let you decide which two. but none of that happened, so cool. right?

now, back to the story. I saw an awesome view from a deck stretching out of the side of a mountain, in the distance there was a helicopter, slowly moving towards us. one of my hosts commented that they wondered who it was. I thought this was a little odd, we are in Wyoming the county, not Wyoming the state. people use cars, and bicycles, and walk to places, not take helicopters. as it turns out one of my hosts was a former pilot, and he said he might know them. RIIIIght, I thought, how wrong I was. So this Brand new helicopter, about the size of a bus came close enough to me where I could see the passengers face, I could feel the wind from the propeller, and could barely hear anything but the roar of the engines. I felt like Hawkeye Pierce on M*A*S*H*. or Frank "Ferret Face" Burns, whatever.

after conversing a little it was discovered that I went to high school with one of them, albeit a few years difference, but we know  alot of the same people. like it is in disney, a small world, after all.(insert song here)

Very, very, very cool, indeed. on the side of a mountain, with a good amount of the county spread out before me.

after that, I thanked my hosts, and took my leave, up the mountain, with some directions and advice.

The only thing I regret, was not having my phone/camera/twitter/facebook machine., but I will forever remember the feeling, which is much more powerful than any picture.

I continued on my journey, up the mountain. From here I am going to let the pictures do the work of a thousand words, maybe more. With some observations and explanations thrown in, because I sometimes have a hard time keeping my mouth shut, or my fingers still.

A side note: I dropped off The Sauce at 8am was back at my car at noon. I did a lot of hiking, thinking, exercising, thinking some more, and sweating. oh yeah, I smiled a lot too. In true shiny things fashion, I just kind of went wherever my feet and my mind took me. Im surprised I didn't get lost. So was my wife, and She knows me better than I know myself.

I came upon this early on, it strikes me as odd that the environmentalist in me is okay with it, It provides clean energy, its not hurting anyone, just don't screw with it. That bitch will f*** you up.

this made me think of Bon Scott, and what his grave site should look like.

I walked up on this, then I remembered it from my high school years. It is called the Forkston Fire Tower.We used to go up there and cause trouble, usually after dark, usually with persons of the opposite gender. when I was younger it was the pretty much the coolest/highest place you could see from a distance. In fact, I used to look at it every morning, while I waited for the bus. There is a fence around it now, I texted a friend of mine who lives far away, in a very flat place, a picture, And I think he thought it was kinda cool too. (insert previous song here, too). I love the internet, and all its proclivity for interconnectedness.

alas, one must put up barriers, to keep one self intact. (insert bass riff here) (Rush reference, more to come on that subject, in a future blog)

as I walked away, pensively, I came upon this. An old stucture, probably one of the first before the windmills, I would like to live there.

this is what looks like the shop that maintains these behemoths. oddly, not a soul in sight, middle of the week 9am or so. not hat I am complaining, I would be suspicious if there were a lot of activity. it was very peaceful up there, only the sound of the windmills, like a train in the distance.

here at the base of one, unbelievably tall, and huge, and solid. about 20 feet around, solid steel and concrete. they give the impression thay go under ground for miles, straight down.

again at the base, this second pic is close up of the warning on it. I laughed out loud at the sparky, mean, electricity demon poking the person with his lightning bolt arm. And it tells you what to do if you find it open. besides run away, because that electric demon is inside.

This is the part of the day when I realized I probably should not be here.

I put my hand on it(the windmill, that is), stood there for a second, celebrated the accomplishment, texted my son, and moved on. wishing he was here with me, next time, Sauce, next time.

so I walked off into the wood, saw a few neat things, an old sign that said Bear Wallow. I picked up the pace a little, I am a little scared of bears.

then I found myself back here, it was like seeing an old friend, that you didn't get the chance to talk to the first time you ran into them, so you decided to spend some "quality time" with them, reminiscing.

I was a little upset with the whole fence thing, so I did something about it, because you only get a second chance once.

a quick look around, and then I became a criminal, seriously, it was the only time I trespassed all day, I couldn't resist, and I am not going to say it didn't feel wrong, and a little scary, Adrenaline took over. I love Adtrenaline, I dont get enough of it these days, something I have to do something about, but responsibly, I do have a life, after all.

when I got near the top, I recalled being a teenager up there one day, and the ranger was there. after he got all official and told us about it, explained its purpose, he took me up to the top, into the box like structure, I barley remember it because I was so scared, but remember the feeling, Thats why I was here today. when I got to the top, it was locked,

 DENIED!

a quick selfie ( man that sounds queer) and I am outta there! my knees are shaking so bad I feel like i'm being electrocuted.

the trip down was scarier than up!

Good bye, old friend. likely you will not be this accessible again, glad I had time to visit with you.

then in the middle of the woods, I saw this stucture, curious, I got closer and went around it.

glad to see somebody, is doing it right.

this is the view from the Captains Chair.

 I found this about a mile away, totally inaccessible, had to be there for 20 years or more. sad, it was probably someones dream getaway, now its just a trashed old meth lab. (probably)

some final pics and thoughts, if you have read this far.

I had a awesome day, met some great new friends, saw some pretty neat stuff, all in all, great day! we should all be this lucky to get out in nature and think, some times about nothing, sometimes about everything. The point is, in my opinion, that you are thinking, and enjoying the thoughts.

now, as promised, a haiku

Haikus are easy

but sometimes they don't make sense

refrigerator

pistolgrip out