One bad Apple ruins the whole operating system

I seriously have a tryptophan hangover. My head hurts, my feet stink, and I don't love Jesus. That last parts not true, its a quote from one of the greatest storytellers of all history, James Buffet.

Holidays are good, I'd like to have more of them, but I don't think my brain can handle it.
All the running around, shopping, yard work, cooking, cleaning, gender reassignation surgeries, I don't know how I get it all done.

I barely have time to do the things I have to get done, like drink beer. And eat cake.
I like cake.

I did get a new phone yesterday, my other one sharted and was close to totally crapping its own drawers. It's a newer version if the last one, because guess what? The last one worked great for 2 years ( seems to be the norm, funny, because that's how long my contract was!) Everybody asked me " are you gonna get the iPhone 14p?, or whatever it is, why do these iPhone users want to suck me into their world? Is it more than a culture, but a cult? They really want/need you to share in their misery. Or maybe it's an addiction?  You know, one with a twelve step program that you should follow to get out and become a useful member of society again. All iphones seem to have the same issues, but yet Applers ( I just made that term up) just gotta have one. Weak batteries, expensive apps, cracked screens and all.
In the not to distant future I see a well lit, sanitized room with no windows, plastic chairs, with a table set up in the corner with herbal tea and gluten free donuts, with attendees dressed in slacks and sensible shoes, each with names like SIRI or RAM or Dr Sheldon Cooper, discussing how apple has riuned their life.
They feel a need to pay money for things that don't cost money, like music. They discuss their anxiety when there isn't a power source nearby, and there won't be one for the next 17 hours. Their frustrations because they can't put their hand in their pockets because the tips of their fingers are shredded from uncontrollably swiping them across their broken screens and dreams.

My eyes hurt, my fingers bleed, and I don't need Steve's. Okay I'll work on the slogan.

I'm not much better, mind you, I couldn't wait to get a new phone, but this novelty will wear off in a few days and I will go back to leading a productive life, I hope.

As a matter of fact, I wrote this entire post, on my phone, sitting on my couch, drinking coffee. This new idiot box allows me to post to the blog from mobile, so you will probably see more from me, but in an abbreviated version. So subscribe, follow, leapfrog, or whatever it is you do on the sidebar there to get updates. I'm not convinced the link works, so sign up and comment. It won't hurt, I promise.

Unless you have an iPhone. I don't want you to hurt yourself.

My wife is gonna kill me. So I'm gonna put it down now, and rejoin society.

Pistolgrip out.

Things I should have/should not have learned in High School

Well, here goes!
I have a teenage son, he teaches me a lot, I can honestly say, he schools me on a daily basis.
Whether he realizes it or not, who knows. I dont want to sound like an old fogey, and I am certainly no prude, but things sure have changed alot since I was in High School.
Where do I start?

Communication: we didn't text, we talked. we schemed, we planned, we conspired. We had to be careful that people would "hear" us. god forbid you got caught passing a note. and if it was to a girl? we are talking full on public humiliation here. not to mention your entire life being ruined, for ever..

Clothing: we used to push the envelope with the occasional double entendre t shirt ( any body remember "whereinthehellis" t shirts?) or maybe a pair of doc martens or hiking boots with huge red laces? these days, shorts and a t shirt are the norm. SHORTS! I used to wear a button down "oxford" at least once a week, just because I could. There were certain fashion plates among us, a.k.a the polo shirts and dockers crew, there was even an award in the yearbook for "best dressed". I dont even think they do that anymore. and don't get me started on Sneakers! when did we begin spending hundreds (yes,I said hundreds) of dollars on footwear so we could ride the bus. I dont get it.

Extra curricular activities: Maybe we would go to a sporting event, maybe kiss a girl under the bleachers, maybe go to a dance after the game, (with a band, not a DJ), maybe get into a fight, maybe sneak around and have our parents pick us up in front of the school totally unaware, maybe say we were staying at a friends house, and go to a party. maybe get caught. Most of the time we got caught. How in the world could they catch us? After all, we were much smarter than them!

Music: I couldn't imagine High School with out a soundtrack. We would go to the record store, and find gems hidden in the bins of albums. we didn't download or "steal" music, The only way we knew a new album was coming out by our favorite group was hearing a DJ mention it on the radio, or reading about it in Tiger Beat magazine. By the way, the Tiger was our high schools mascot, and I thought it was our school newsletter. Im not kidding. Man, was I stoopid. We would gather at someones house after school and listen to records, with headphones. The kind with the curly wire, and you had to sit on the floor in front of the stereo. No one ever heard of earbuds, we heard of buds, but not ear ones.

Technology: I had always been somewhat of a geek, I like shiny new things, but I wouldn't call myself an early adopter. I usually wait to see how technology affects my life before I dive in. I wanna be sure, ya know? Teens today have so much more technology, I'm not just thinking about smart phones here. Virtual reality, large screen television, GPS, The freaking Internet! all of it could be used for Good or Evil, I'd like to think its for good, but I know its sometimes evil. It is much harder these days to read a book, or take a walk. You might miss something.

There were a lot of things I learned in High School, How to be cool, how to hang out, how to make fun happen, and I seem to remember something about Math or History.

There were a lot of things I didn't learn also. Like how to pay a mortgage, what to do when someone lies to you, and why you need to stop and appreciate every day that you have.

I am watching my son learn the same things, and believe me, I cant teach him, because he already knows.

He just hasn't learned it yet.


Pistolgrip Out.