Lets talk about beer, Shall we?

Beer, Beer,everywhere, but not a drop to drink. Well, maybe........


Lets be brutally honest here. I like beer. not just any beer, good beer. Which is, and forever will be, my own opinion of what I think is good, and what sucks.
I am not a beer snob, I don't propose to have a refined palate, and I certainly am not an expert, but everyones gotta have a goal, ya know? I would consider myself a beer nerd, I know enough to make me dangerous, but ultimately harmless.
I believe in the freedom and responsibility of beer, our founding fathers knew this, I know this and everyone should know this. What the hell does that mean? I believe it means we should be able to drink what we want, pursuant to our own tastes and desired outcomes, in as much quanities as we see fit, as long as we don't endanger others by being a dumbass. Because we all know that beer sometimes brings about dumbassery. I have done some pretty stupid things while drinking beer, learned from it, and moved on. Just like our founding fathers did.
If you cant stop yourself from doing dumb things while drinking beer, then don't drink it. unless you don't care, then drink all you want, because I need someone to laugh at.
The rest of this post is going to be about my likes and dislikes, gathered from years of research and field testing. I am going to name a few of my favorites as well as my anti favorites and perhaps you will get a glimpse inside my psyche. its a twisted and confusing place, to be sure. Its all about the experience, the total package, the cash AND the prizes, if you will.There is no order, ranking, or scoring. If you'd like to see more, follow me on Untapped, its an app you can get for your phone that lets you rank and score beers. Its pretty cool, and kind of like Facebook for beer nerds. Search it for Pistolgrip.

Id like to say a few things about a few styles:

IPA - I drank you for a long time, back when they you new and exciting. Well baby, the honeymoon is over. I'm through with you and you constant hopping and rehopping. Why wont you just settle down and be a good beer? Youre never the same twice, and you make my sinuses clog up like a restroom at a cheese factory. Oh, I still love you, and I always will, Its a love/ hate thing.
Some of my favorites: Stone Enjoy by IPA, Evil Genius Evil Eye PA, Magic Hat hi.P.A.

Barley wine style ales - you suck. you have too much booziness in you for me to enjoy more than one, not that I ever have enjoyed even one. you taste like maple syrup mixed with furniture polish, not even the good kind of furniture polish. the kind you but at the dollar store. With the writing on it in two languages. side note: I opened one up when I started writing tonight, and as usual, I am getting ready to pour it down the sink, but I dont want to damage the plumbing. but yet again, why did I purchase such a vile concoction created in the depths of hell itself? because I like to try new things, hoping I will find "the one"and yes, there can be only one.
Some of my favorites: none, they all suck. PERIOD.

Lagers/Ales - Like siamese twins, you guys are pretty much the same body, but have different ideas. some of you are weak and unassuming while others are brash and exciting. Crisp and full of life or steady and hum drum. I dont always know what to expect, but its usually a good conversation, or a conversation starter. I'm not entirely sure of the difference between the two, but I know I like both.
some of my favorites: Yuengling Lager, Duclaw Euforia, Anchor California Lager.

Pilsners - one word, Ambiguous. I dont know which side of the fence you're on, man! one time you were light and refreshing, next thing I know you have enough hops to dry out a slug! Pick a team already!
Since I dont have any favorites these are some I have tried: Presidente, Corona, Budweiser(yeah, I know, it doesn't seem right)

Spiced/Fruit/Seasonal brews - I am glad your around, but please don't wear out your welcome. one or two of you and I am good. Please stop making an appearance in my Sam Adams variety case, if people liked you that much, they would invite you and all your friends to the party, not just two or three of you. If I wanted to something that tastes like lemonade, I would drink lemonade. Or cherries. Or apples. Or Strawberries. Or orange peels. The same goes for spiced beers, no cinnamon, ginger, bay leaves, or cardamon, please. When my friends try to push them on me, I see that as a direct assault on my sovereignty, and will proceed to exercise my right to bare arms, just warning you.
Some I find tolerable: Left Hand Good Juju (ginger) Evil Genious I Love Lamp (pineapple hefeweizen)

Porters/Stouts - You have special place in my heart, and my belly. I have always been a fool for a good porter. rich creamy, thick. the darker the better. Winter, summer, spring, or fall, all you have to do is call, and I'll come runnin" to see you again. Lately, it has all been about flavoring the stouts with chocolate or peanut butter, or both. I gotta say, It doesnt suck. I thought I would hate it, but I dont. mmmmmmm. I want one right now,
Some of my favorites: Guinness, Duclaw Sweet Baby Jesus, Evil Genius Purple Monkey Dishwasher, Abita Turbodog(not technically a stout, but still dark and delicious)

Thats all I am going to talk about today, I mostly like and drink American beers, probably because I am an American. I do like some other country's beers, but thats a different blog for a different time.

Like I said before, I am no expert, I may have gotten some styles or descriptions wrong, but who cares, A great man once said ( I think it was  Stephen Hawking, but I'm not sure)
Life Is Short, Drink Good Beer.

Pistolgrip Out

ps- dont be afraid to comment below, it lets me know I am not talking to myself. Because that would be weird. and I am definitely not weird.

Things that annoy me, and other books I am writing

Good Evening, Morning, Whatever.

This is the book that I am currently writing. Actually, its a notebook which I keep in my pocket, so I can write stuff down so I dont forget. Most of it is random thoughts, lists of silly ideas, or simply, things that annoy me.
there are couple of other books I would like to author, but will probably never happen, since it has taken me 46 years to start this blog.
I would like to offer up a few possible titles:
"How did I get here, and whats that smell?" (a mystery/travel journal)
"The science and lore of handling a cucumber" (a cookbook)
"How to lose friends and alienate people" (a prison survival guide)

But for now, let me tell you about some items in my current tome.

Vapor cigarettes annoy me. its like "I dont want to do something thats bad for me, so I will do something that MIGHT be bad for me" besides you get to look like an asshat at the same time.
some vape flavors I would like to see
- Shell fish
- Vanilla Dumpster
- Tongue Depressor
- Aluminum Foil
- Moldy Cheese
- Lysol

I think I am going to start referring to boring people by movie characters that they remind me of, instead of their names. That way I can think about the movie instead of wasting my time and having a conversation with them. This will work well with characters like Batman, Indiana Jones, or the Pedro guy from Napolean Dynamite. It would probably also work well with sitcom actors like Danny Tanner, Frank "Ferret Face" Burns, or Peggy Bundy.


When I use the internet or any other kind of digital media to communicate, I prefer to do it as if I were talking to the person face to face. I hear their voice in my head as I am reading it, and I like to use proper punctuation and spelling. I know this isn't always possible due to time or circumstances, but when I can, I do. Otherwise, it feels like I am making the other person work to figure out what I am saying.
I had a "conversation" the other day, via text message with five participants, that went something like this:

Me: I am running 15 minutes late, be there at 10:30
#1: K
#2: k be there in 10
#3: no prob
#4: (insert stupid smiley face here)

Really? you cant move your thumb up and over one space to hit the "O", Really? you can't even give me a capital K, even though you are trying to form a complete sentence? Really? you can't capitalize or spell out the word problem? I think you got a problem. and REALLY? you took the time to send a smiley face thingee? what, am I supposed to think that looks like you? They should have an emoji for I am a total freaking moron. you could have sent that one, instead. I would have got the same information.
While I am on the subject (this is turning into a rant, which is a subject for a different book), I dont like acronyms or whatever they call it when you shorten an expression or colloquialism down to a few letters. ROTFL(rolling on the floor laughing) , SMH (scratch my head), and WTF (why the face?) are not things I would say in real conversation so why would I abbreviate them?
Why are they abbreviating them anyways, are they afraid of being caught texting, or worse, afraid of having an actual conversation using their mouth and vocal chords, or is that too much work?
Sometimes I stop and think, what is the reason they are so short with me? Are they in church, are they a doctor performing open heart surgery, or maybe they are extremely obese and need to use a special texting wand to hit each letter because their fingers are too large and the phone is in a harness developed by somebody who had to endure the pain of not having been able to clap their hands because they have Tyrannosaurus Rex arms, let alone use a phone. (Stop and think about that one for a second......Okay)





that is all,
Pistolgrip Out

ps- put your email address in the box at the top of the page to get notified when I update again.
Since I was never popular in high school, this will almost be like having friends