Things that annoy me, and other books I am writing

Good Evening, Morning, Whatever.

This is the book that I am currently writing. Actually, its a notebook which I keep in my pocket, so I can write stuff down so I dont forget. Most of it is random thoughts, lists of silly ideas, or simply, things that annoy me.
there are couple of other books I would like to author, but will probably never happen, since it has taken me 46 years to start this blog.
I would like to offer up a few possible titles:
"How did I get here, and whats that smell?" (a mystery/travel journal)
"The science and lore of handling a cucumber" (a cookbook)
"How to lose friends and alienate people" (a prison survival guide)

But for now, let me tell you about some items in my current tome.

Vapor cigarettes annoy me. its like "I dont want to do something thats bad for me, so I will do something that MIGHT be bad for me" besides you get to look like an asshat at the same time.
some vape flavors I would like to see
- Shell fish
- Vanilla Dumpster
- Tongue Depressor
- Aluminum Foil
- Moldy Cheese
- Lysol

I think I am going to start referring to boring people by movie characters that they remind me of, instead of their names. That way I can think about the movie instead of wasting my time and having a conversation with them. This will work well with characters like Batman, Indiana Jones, or the Pedro guy from Napolean Dynamite. It would probably also work well with sitcom actors like Danny Tanner, Frank "Ferret Face" Burns, or Peggy Bundy.


When I use the internet or any other kind of digital media to communicate, I prefer to do it as if I were talking to the person face to face. I hear their voice in my head as I am reading it, and I like to use proper punctuation and spelling. I know this isn't always possible due to time or circumstances, but when I can, I do. Otherwise, it feels like I am making the other person work to figure out what I am saying.
I had a "conversation" the other day, via text message with five participants, that went something like this:

Me: I am running 15 minutes late, be there at 10:30
#1: K
#2: k be there in 10
#3: no prob
#4: (insert stupid smiley face here)

Really? you cant move your thumb up and over one space to hit the "O", Really? you can't even give me a capital K, even though you are trying to form a complete sentence? Really? you can't capitalize or spell out the word problem? I think you got a problem. and REALLY? you took the time to send a smiley face thingee? what, am I supposed to think that looks like you? They should have an emoji for I am a total freaking moron. you could have sent that one, instead. I would have got the same information.
While I am on the subject (this is turning into a rant, which is a subject for a different book), I dont like acronyms or whatever they call it when you shorten an expression or colloquialism down to a few letters. ROTFL(rolling on the floor laughing) , SMH (scratch my head), and WTF (why the face?) are not things I would say in real conversation so why would I abbreviate them?
Why are they abbreviating them anyways, are they afraid of being caught texting, or worse, afraid of having an actual conversation using their mouth and vocal chords, or is that too much work?
Sometimes I stop and think, what is the reason they are so short with me? Are they in church, are they a doctor performing open heart surgery, or maybe they are extremely obese and need to use a special texting wand to hit each letter because their fingers are too large and the phone is in a harness developed by somebody who had to endure the pain of not having been able to clap their hands because they have Tyrannosaurus Rex arms, let alone use a phone. (Stop and think about that one for a second......Okay)





that is all,
Pistolgrip Out

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Since I was never popular in high school, this will almost be like having friends