Hello? Is it me your looking for?

I saw this sign in a men's room once, and it stuck with me.
I also hear this song in my head everytime someone pauses after saying hello to me. I feel compelled to ask them if they see it my eyes, or my smile, or if I'm all they ever wanted,  you get the picture.

It would be awkward, but worth it.
I have had a few awkward moments in my life, some I dealt with pretty well, some not. we all have them, you know, like when you fart in an elevator, then it stops...........
or you ask how someone is, and they say that person died last week.......
or you see someone at a concert wearing the same tee shirt as you..........

All of those things happened to me, recently. I've had a pretty good run of awkwardness.
None of it was crushing, deflating, loser type humiliation, but pretty close. I usually try to use humor and more awkwardness to get out of awkwardness. It just gets more and more awkward until silence prevails, everyone involved gets real quiet, then we move on. I think its a pretty good strategy, most of the time.

Next topic:
Han Solo was a dick.
I know I am going to outrage some nerd out there, but I will just tell him to go back to his basement bedroom and wait for his mom to bring him his dessert and shut up.
Han always about himself, he did it for the money, every time. He had a pretty good gig with the princess, but he screwed that up to hang with his buddy Chewie. Come on man, she was a princess for Christmas sake! In the last movie they tried to make it so he could redeem himself, but in the end it was just about him, He could have said something like "Call your Mom" or " lets try to patch this thing up" but he had to stab himself instead. (this is where the nerds chime in with their own theories)
pretty much any time he was involved, he screwed things up with his own stuff, never considering the feelings of others. What a dick.



I had an idea for a TV show, its like undercover boss, but from the other perspective,
Undercover Customer

You walk into a store and see how rude employees are. Then you expose them on national television for the jerks they are. Maybe we can rate them or vote on them like American Idol? I think it would only be a matter of time before you had every Gluten Free Emporium cashier and Department of Motor Vehicle Clerk treating you like royalty if they thought for a second everyone would see them being complete arses.
There could be comedian hosts like Don Rickles (BTW, not dead, yet, but soon!), or Amy Schumer.
that would be a show I would watch.


One more topic and I'm done because its late, and I am really only writing this because a friend of mine said he misses reading them. I am not going to call him out and expose him, because that would be rude. but his name is Clay. Clay Schutt. That's with two T's, and a long U. and Clay is short for Clayton. Just want to be clear that I am not calling him out.

I have attempted to play many instruments in my life, guitar, drums, bass, skin flute, to name a few, I never make it past the basics, something always gets in my way, like work, family, or some other stupid excuse. but that's all they are, excuses. my latest curiosity is bass guitar. As one friend of mine, who is seriously musically talented, told me: if that's what your ear goes to naturally, do it. so I think I will. Right after vacation(TEASER:NEXT POST!), after my son graduates, I get a promotion at work, and I watch every movie on netflix. I will get that shit done, I promise.


yeah, that's it for me tonight, as I reread this, its ok, not my best work, and a lot more cuss words than usual, I am tired and cranky, and my ass hurts, I need a new chair.

Pistolgrip Out.