Lets talk about beer, Shall we?

Beer, Beer,everywhere, but not a drop to drink. Well, maybe........


Lets be brutally honest here. I like beer. not just any beer, good beer. Which is, and forever will be, my own opinion of what I think is good, and what sucks.
I am not a beer snob, I don't propose to have a refined palate, and I certainly am not an expert, but everyones gotta have a goal, ya know? I would consider myself a beer nerd, I know enough to make me dangerous, but ultimately harmless.
I believe in the freedom and responsibility of beer, our founding fathers knew this, I know this and everyone should know this. What the hell does that mean? I believe it means we should be able to drink what we want, pursuant to our own tastes and desired outcomes, in as much quanities as we see fit, as long as we don't endanger others by being a dumbass. Because we all know that beer sometimes brings about dumbassery. I have done some pretty stupid things while drinking beer, learned from it, and moved on. Just like our founding fathers did.
If you cant stop yourself from doing dumb things while drinking beer, then don't drink it. unless you don't care, then drink all you want, because I need someone to laugh at.
The rest of this post is going to be about my likes and dislikes, gathered from years of research and field testing. I am going to name a few of my favorites as well as my anti favorites and perhaps you will get a glimpse inside my psyche. its a twisted and confusing place, to be sure. Its all about the experience, the total package, the cash AND the prizes, if you will.There is no order, ranking, or scoring. If you'd like to see more, follow me on Untapped, its an app you can get for your phone that lets you rank and score beers. Its pretty cool, and kind of like Facebook for beer nerds. Search it for Pistolgrip.

Id like to say a few things about a few styles:

IPA - I drank you for a long time, back when they you new and exciting. Well baby, the honeymoon is over. I'm through with you and you constant hopping and rehopping. Why wont you just settle down and be a good beer? Youre never the same twice, and you make my sinuses clog up like a restroom at a cheese factory. Oh, I still love you, and I always will, Its a love/ hate thing.
Some of my favorites: Stone Enjoy by IPA, Evil Genius Evil Eye PA, Magic Hat hi.P.A.

Barley wine style ales - you suck. you have too much booziness in you for me to enjoy more than one, not that I ever have enjoyed even one. you taste like maple syrup mixed with furniture polish, not even the good kind of furniture polish. the kind you but at the dollar store. With the writing on it in two languages. side note: I opened one up when I started writing tonight, and as usual, I am getting ready to pour it down the sink, but I dont want to damage the plumbing. but yet again, why did I purchase such a vile concoction created in the depths of hell itself? because I like to try new things, hoping I will find "the one"and yes, there can be only one.
Some of my favorites: none, they all suck. PERIOD.

Lagers/Ales - Like siamese twins, you guys are pretty much the same body, but have different ideas. some of you are weak and unassuming while others are brash and exciting. Crisp and full of life or steady and hum drum. I dont always know what to expect, but its usually a good conversation, or a conversation starter. I'm not entirely sure of the difference between the two, but I know I like both.
some of my favorites: Yuengling Lager, Duclaw Euforia, Anchor California Lager.

Pilsners - one word, Ambiguous. I dont know which side of the fence you're on, man! one time you were light and refreshing, next thing I know you have enough hops to dry out a slug! Pick a team already!
Since I dont have any favorites these are some I have tried: Presidente, Corona, Budweiser(yeah, I know, it doesn't seem right)

Spiced/Fruit/Seasonal brews - I am glad your around, but please don't wear out your welcome. one or two of you and I am good. Please stop making an appearance in my Sam Adams variety case, if people liked you that much, they would invite you and all your friends to the party, not just two or three of you. If I wanted to something that tastes like lemonade, I would drink lemonade. Or cherries. Or apples. Or Strawberries. Or orange peels. The same goes for spiced beers, no cinnamon, ginger, bay leaves, or cardamon, please. When my friends try to push them on me, I see that as a direct assault on my sovereignty, and will proceed to exercise my right to bare arms, just warning you.
Some I find tolerable: Left Hand Good Juju (ginger) Evil Genious I Love Lamp (pineapple hefeweizen)

Porters/Stouts - You have special place in my heart, and my belly. I have always been a fool for a good porter. rich creamy, thick. the darker the better. Winter, summer, spring, or fall, all you have to do is call, and I'll come runnin" to see you again. Lately, it has all been about flavoring the stouts with chocolate or peanut butter, or both. I gotta say, It doesnt suck. I thought I would hate it, but I dont. mmmmmmm. I want one right now,
Some of my favorites: Guinness, Duclaw Sweet Baby Jesus, Evil Genius Purple Monkey Dishwasher, Abita Turbodog(not technically a stout, but still dark and delicious)

Thats all I am going to talk about today, I mostly like and drink American beers, probably because I am an American. I do like some other country's beers, but thats a different blog for a different time.

Like I said before, I am no expert, I may have gotten some styles or descriptions wrong, but who cares, A great man once said ( I think it was  Stephen Hawking, but I'm not sure)
Life Is Short, Drink Good Beer.

Pistolgrip Out

ps- dont be afraid to comment below, it lets me know I am not talking to myself. Because that would be weird. and I am definitely not weird.

Things that annoy me, and other books I am writing

Good Evening, Morning, Whatever.

This is the book that I am currently writing. Actually, its a notebook which I keep in my pocket, so I can write stuff down so I dont forget. Most of it is random thoughts, lists of silly ideas, or simply, things that annoy me.
there are couple of other books I would like to author, but will probably never happen, since it has taken me 46 years to start this blog.
I would like to offer up a few possible titles:
"How did I get here, and whats that smell?" (a mystery/travel journal)
"The science and lore of handling a cucumber" (a cookbook)
"How to lose friends and alienate people" (a prison survival guide)

But for now, let me tell you about some items in my current tome.

Vapor cigarettes annoy me. its like "I dont want to do something thats bad for me, so I will do something that MIGHT be bad for me" besides you get to look like an asshat at the same time.
some vape flavors I would like to see
- Shell fish
- Vanilla Dumpster
- Tongue Depressor
- Aluminum Foil
- Moldy Cheese
- Lysol

I think I am going to start referring to boring people by movie characters that they remind me of, instead of their names. That way I can think about the movie instead of wasting my time and having a conversation with them. This will work well with characters like Batman, Indiana Jones, or the Pedro guy from Napolean Dynamite. It would probably also work well with sitcom actors like Danny Tanner, Frank "Ferret Face" Burns, or Peggy Bundy.


When I use the internet or any other kind of digital media to communicate, I prefer to do it as if I were talking to the person face to face. I hear their voice in my head as I am reading it, and I like to use proper punctuation and spelling. I know this isn't always possible due to time or circumstances, but when I can, I do. Otherwise, it feels like I am making the other person work to figure out what I am saying.
I had a "conversation" the other day, via text message with five participants, that went something like this:

Me: I am running 15 minutes late, be there at 10:30
#1: K
#2: k be there in 10
#3: no prob
#4: (insert stupid smiley face here)

Really? you cant move your thumb up and over one space to hit the "O", Really? you can't even give me a capital K, even though you are trying to form a complete sentence? Really? you can't capitalize or spell out the word problem? I think you got a problem. and REALLY? you took the time to send a smiley face thingee? what, am I supposed to think that looks like you? They should have an emoji for I am a total freaking moron. you could have sent that one, instead. I would have got the same information.
While I am on the subject (this is turning into a rant, which is a subject for a different book), I dont like acronyms or whatever they call it when you shorten an expression or colloquialism down to a few letters. ROTFL(rolling on the floor laughing) , SMH (scratch my head), and WTF (why the face?) are not things I would say in real conversation so why would I abbreviate them?
Why are they abbreviating them anyways, are they afraid of being caught texting, or worse, afraid of having an actual conversation using their mouth and vocal chords, or is that too much work?
Sometimes I stop and think, what is the reason they are so short with me? Are they in church, are they a doctor performing open heart surgery, or maybe they are extremely obese and need to use a special texting wand to hit each letter because their fingers are too large and the phone is in a harness developed by somebody who had to endure the pain of not having been able to clap their hands because they have Tyrannosaurus Rex arms, let alone use a phone. (Stop and think about that one for a second......Okay)





that is all,
Pistolgrip Out

ps- put your email address in the box at the top of the page to get notified when I update again.
Since I was never popular in high school, this will almost be like having friends

The Long Con

I dont know why, but I was thinking about this as I woke up today.
 LOST Season 2, Episode 13, February 2006

A television series near and dear to my heart, one that challenged me to think differently, and not to expect what happens next. I'm a sucker for a good science fiction story, and this one took six years to tell.

this episode tells the story of a secret several years in the making, taking much planning and deception, all to provide personal gain, albeit money. Sawyer is at first depicted as a genius, then a hero, then, ultimately, a failure. thats how most(all) lies end.
It got me thinking about some long cons of history.

American Politics
The News Media
Fad Diets

Just a few named here, but as a rule, they follow a pattern. First they tell you what you want to hear, then they offer a solution, then they are revealed to service their own agenda.
Politicians- I dont think I need to explain any further
The News Media- Brian Williams, CNN, Fox News, all want ratings for advertising dollars, therefore twisting the news to their benefit
Fad Diets- Buy this pill and you will be skinny
I'm not saying all are liars and cheats, but when did we stop questioning people and just accepting what people say is truth?
The most influential people in history have been the thinkers, the Steven Hawkings, the Carl Sagans, The Benjamin Franklins, The Walter Cronkites, The Richard Simmons'.
I try to look for alternatives to conventional "wisdom" and I think others would benefit from it also.



Thats all for now,
Pistolgrip Out.

I wish I were Tom Hanks

Well, Hello!
Welcome back to my humble abode.
I have been doing a lot of thinking about bucket lists lately. My own personal one has been filling up the proverbial bucket for quite some time now. Sometimes we meander through life with out clear direction, sometimes with laser focus, Mine has, admittedly, been pretty much a shiny things! lets go! kind of existence. But all that changes right now. Man, I could go for a sandwich..........or some cake. Yeah, cake would be perfection.
Back to bucket lists. I was thinking about people who accomplish things in life, philosophers, composers, artists, inventors, etc. all have a few things ( I believe) in common. Firstly, Drive. they seem to not stop, no matter what obstacles get in their path. a truly admirable trait. Second, Passion. It's a vehicle used by joy, fueled by wild abandon for civilized conventionality, to reach a pinnacle of existence. (wow, that was deep). Third, Luck. You can accomplish a lot of stuff, if your in the right place at the right time. I know, no shit Sherlock.
At times I have wished for more of each of these, never realizing I had more than enough already. I had just been reluctant to accept it. Each one of these traits are within us, we just need to cultivate them. thats the hard part. We all want to be better people, but its hard, ya know? What is easy is to rest on your accomplishments, forget what makes you happy, or believe something is conspiring against you and blame, blame, blame. Thats the tough one. I could be a little better at making my own luck.
After great contemplation, I have decided that there is one person who is an expert at accomplishment.

That man is Tom Hanks.

I submit for your approval a few of said accomplishments:

He was engaged to Tawney Kitaen and threw an awesome bachelor party.
He spent 7 years or so on a desert island with only a volleyball named Wilson, learned how to fish with a stick, and made a raft to sail home.
He was Antonio Banderas' soulmate while living in Philadelphia and battling a wasting disease.
He almost single handedly saved private Ryan.
He traveled to lunar orbit with Kevin Bacon, slingshotted around the moon, and returned to earth.
He solved the Da Vinci code
He met Meg Ryan on the internet, them had a face to face with her at the top of the Empire State Building.
He also got to hang out with his best friend (also an astronaut) while wearing a cowboy suit and have many adventures to infinity and beyond.

This list is by no means complete, as Tom has plenty of Drive, Passion, and Luck.

Seriously, This guy must finish every day yelling "NAILED IT!'


Until next time,
Pistolgrip out.

Who do you work for Number Two ?

yeah, its me. living the American dream.
I thought I would start off by telling you a little about me.
But not too much, because I would like to remain semi anonymous, kinda. But anyone with more than three brain cells can figure it out.
I live at a place I call the redneck Riviera, a little hamlet on the edge of a body of water in North Eastern Pennsylvania, or NEPA as it is sometimes called.
I have a best friend for a wife, a Sauce for a son, two dogs (sometimes three), two turtles, and a truck which I sometimes call Frank.
I am college edjumicated, enjoy my work (sometimes), and like pretty much every body I work with, Except one asshole, whom I will tell more about later.
I work for a large corporation based in Philadelphia, which allows me to travel a bit. one of the more rewarding aspects, I must say. I do enjoy seeing and doing new things.
These are the highlights of my day yesterday:
Got to the Occupation about 8 am, began to execute my "Pattern of Management". This is a series of events which give me some structure, and allows me to complete some pretty mundane tasks, like reading emails, collecting data from different stations around my work place on the nights before's production, correcting timecards, etc. Pretty lame and douchey, I know.
Once I finish some of those, I get a cup of coffee (another perk of my job, a Starbucks in the same building), and get to some real interaction with people, I like this best. I get to work with some talented people, and some not so talented, but hey, we all got our place, Right? Right.
We have some busy periods where I have to manage production, solve issues, put out fires, and generally keep things moving. not so bad, Right? Right.
Then the meetings start.
Sometimes they are productive, sometimes they are semi productive, and sometimes they turn into one person doing all the talking, not wanting any interaction, and overall pretty much like having your fingernails pulled out with a needle nose pliers and then soaked in lemon juice while getting repeatedly punched in the kidney, making you want to scream and pass out from the pain of boredom and frustration.
I had two of those yesterday. done and done.
Now on to the Asshole.
I work with a pretty diverse dynamic. Everyone from high school kids to octogenarians. all doing different jobs from different walks of life. I get it, we all gotta work. I was in a remote part of the building doing some organizing of a storage area, not wanting to damage it, I placed my portable cellular telephone on a shelf in said storage area. I then proceeded to leave the storeroom with out  picking it back up, I know stupid Right? Right. but the storeroomwas locked, so I thought it safe, the worlds not gonna end if I dont have my phone/internet/address book/ camera/ twitter machine/facebook portal/ distraction machine.
about half an hour later I went down there, passed another employee in the hallway, gave him the obligatory 'sup chin lift, and went to get my phone. no phone. vanished, gone, WTF!
did I leave it some where else? was it on my desk? did I shove it up my arse to keep it safe from my enemies? nope, I checked all of these places.
I proceeded to go to another floor that was open for business in my building to ask if any one had found it, passed the aforementioned ' sup recipient, and asked him if he had seen or picked up a phone while he was down starirs, his answer was a confused look, and a "nope". yeah, and monkeys might just fly out of my butt, right now.
So, I went to my friend who works on that floor and told her to repeatedly call my phone and perhaps I will here it ring on my way back up to my office. sure she said. two seconds later, she says is that Katy Perry I hear? why yes it is, because that's my ringtone.
BABY, YOU'RE A FIREWORK!
Now, anybody that knows me, doesn't think this is strange, because I am a straight heterosexual male. who just likes Katy Parry, Its got a good beat, and you can dance to it.
So we go into the hallway where everybody hangs their coats and personal belongings, and someones backpack, or fanny pack, or whatever you want to call it is bursting across the sky-I-I. I pick it up and bring it into the office, and ask to see the person whose it is. guess who? 'Sup chin up boy, otherwise known as The Asshole.
I ask for my phone, he gives to me while it is still ringing and says "sorry man, I didnt know it was yours" a heartless criminal, indeed.
bottom line is, I got my phone back, he no longer has a job,
and Katy Perry dropped the dime on his ass.

Pistolgrip Out.

I AM NUMBER ONE!

Hello Internet!
Thanks for looking at me, however briefly it may be. This is part of my bucketlist for 2015, to start a blog.
NAILED IT!

see ya soon,
Daddy Sauce (the name is a work in progress, c'mon it's 7:57 am)